What it’s Really Like to Be in a Long-Distance Relationship + 5 Tips for Survival

Last week, my boyfriend and I moved in together– ending over a year of long-distance together, most of which happened during the height of the pandemic here in the UK.

After surviving a long-distance relationship for so long- I wanted to write an honest post about what it’s really like to be in a long-distance relationship, and offer a few tips for survival.

Whether you’re starting a long-distance relationship soon, or you’re long-distance with your partner at the moment, it’s never easy- but it is possible!

In this post, I want to discuss what it’s really like to be in a long-distance relationship, and 5 tips for survival if you’re worried about how this is going to work for you and your partner.

My boyfriend and I survived a long-distance relationship at one of the worst possible times to be long-distance- and you can too!

What is it Really Like to Be in a Long-Distance Relationship?

There are lots of ups and downs

The truth about being in a long-distance relationship is that you will experience a lot of ups and downs during your time apart.

Problems will come and go, and just like in life, you will experience ups and downs, often exacerbated because you and your partner can’t see each other every day.

It shows you just how strong you are

I really do believe that long-distance relationships show how strong you and your partner are, and the trials of a long-distance relationship can really show if you can manage life as a couple.

Being apart from your partner makes you feel like if you can survive a long-distance relationship, you can get through anything!

It can be fun!

It’s so important to remember that long-distance relationships can be a lot of fun- and they are worth the wait!

You can find ways to enjoy your time apart, such as watching things “together” or planning fun virtual dates.

There’s also nothing quite like looking forward to a long-distance visit, or that moment when you first see your partner at the train station after a long time apart.

5 Tips for Surviving a Long-Distance Relationship

Communicate, communicate, communicate!

Communication is so important to surviving any relationship- but it’s even more important if you can’t regularly see each other.

You might hear this a lot- but the power of communication really should not be underestimated.

If your relationship is suddenly over messages or phone calls, things can soon break down if you’re not completely honest with each other about how you feel.

Chat with each other regularly, express concerns as soon as they pop up, and check in with your partner every so often about how they’re coping.

Trust each other

Trust is so important in any relationship, but when you’re apart it’s critical to know that you can trust your partner.

If you’re in a healthy relationship, you won’t feel the need to “check up” on your partner whether you’re together or long-distance.

However, knowing you have that trust becomes essential when you don’t have physical reassurance from your partner on a daily basis.

Plan social activities with other people

Of course, you should keep looking out for your relationship, but while you and your partner spend time apart, it’s so important to give yourself other things to do.

Make sure to plan regular social activities with others and push yourself to get out and about.

It can make a world of difference to spend an hour or two with a friend when you’re missing your boyfriend or girlfriend.

Focus on you

Spend some time on yourself while you and your partner are apart.

I know it sounds cliché, but a great tip to surviving a long-distance relationship is learning to understand yourself as a person.

I was long-distance at a time when I didn’t really know what I was doing, and after graduation, I was a bit lost. Having that time to focus on myself helped to get me where I am now!

Plan ahead

One of the things that helped me the most when I was in a long-distance relationship was always making sure to plan ahead.

Most of my long-distance relationship was during the worst of the pandemic– so visits were few and far between.

However, any visits we were allowed gave us something to really look forward to throughout our time apart.

You need to plan ahead to a time when you will be together again, whether temporarily or permanently.

Have you tried out long-distance with your partner in the past? Do you think these tips are helpful for surviving a long-distance relationship? Do you think long-distance relationships are possible?

Let me know all your thoughts in the comments below 🙂

Happy reading x

Image credits here

123 thoughts

  2. These are great tips! I was in a LDR years ago but it didn’t work out because I didn’t trust my partner. He was absolutely trustworthy but I’d been in two previous relationships where they’d betrayed my trust and it was too hard for me to get over that in my new relationship 😦

    I’ve been with my current partner for 7 and a half years 🙂 xx

    Holly | http://www.gollymissholly.uk

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    2. That’s a beautiful post. I have been in a long distance relationship for more than 4 years before we got married. I completely agree with all your points. I would emphasize on Communication & trust as the core basis of a long distance relationship.
      Thanks for the post.

      Rural
      https://momkidlife.com

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  3. Well, again I am so happy for both of you Eleanor!! I have never been in a long-distance relationship, so can only imagine how difficult it must have been and adding on top of the pandemic. Though as you said, communication is key and looking forward to seeing each other oI bet it makes it even extra special! x

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  4. Thank you for sharing this post! My first serious relationship was long-distance but unfortunately it didn’t work out, mainly because we were both young at the time. I completely agree communication is key and I’m happy you’re both living together now! Xx

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  7. I have not been in a long distance relationship bit many of your suggestions still apply! Communication and having a life outside the relationship are definitely key. Thanks for sharing.

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  8. Thanks for sharing your story! Long distance can be really hard – I know from experience, my boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years and had a year long distance and when I move back to the UK for university we aren’t sure how long it will be until he moves over. But these tips are really great and I’m so happy for you both that you made it through it and are living together now! Best wishes for the future!! Xx

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  9. These are great tips that really do work as I found they were key to the success of my LDR. I was in a long-distance relationship for the first 4 years of my marriage and it was so hard to be away from each other for that long. It ended when I moved to the U.S. 7 years ago. Even though it was truly difficult, being in an LDR made our communication so strong (and our relationship strong too). We don’t take anything for granted and it made us so connected (we’re coming up on our 12th anniversary next month). Congratulations on closing the distance with your partner — wishing you all the best!

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    1. That’s fantastic, I’m glad your relationship managed to deal with long-distance too 🙂 yes I agree, it’s so important not to take that time together for granted, and that’s amazing congratulations x

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  10. I did long distance for a while but really struggled. I was much younger and the relationship wasn’t right for me but now that I’m older I’m a different person. Well done you for keeping on, you sound really happy!

    Rosie

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  11. I’ve never been in a LDR so I can’t even imagine how hard it must be. Communication and trust must be key elements, as you say, but congratulations on finally moving in together, here’s to the next exciting chapter! x

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  12. Such great tips! I was once in a long distant relationship for a year so can really relate to how it must’ve been for you both. Congratulations on moving in together!

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  13. I love this post, Eleanor! I have never been in an LDR and I know I could never do it. A few years ago, my love language was physical touch so it would’ve been hard for me. I agree with all your tips and its so important to communicate with your partner all the time! xx

    Lynn | https://www.lynnmumbingmejia.com

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  14. Thank you for this post. I can imagine how hard it was for you both, glad to know you and your partner are back together. Although I’m not in a long distance relationship, I understand the importance of communication and look out for yourself.

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  15. …that moment when you first see your partner at the train station after a long time apart….

    That got me. The hardest part of being in a LDR is when you just want a hug or to fall asleep on their chest. When you want the physical connection and I don’t mean sex but the smell, and being able to touch them, look into their eyes and see all the flecks of colour – without the image bring pixilated!😔 But we get through. The planning of trips and something to look forward to are a definite must. Thank you for sharing x

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    1. Thank you! Yes I completely agree, you don’t realise how important physical cues and things are, even if it’s just a quick hug! It is possible though and during these tough times I think we all miss people that we can’t see in person x

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  16. My partner and I were long-distance for three years and communication is absolutely fundamental. This was before video chat was a thing so we relied heavily on daily phone calls and constant texts. When our scheduled matched up, we talked with AOL messenger. It was hard but we are happily married now!

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  19. That’s exciting you & your boyfriend moved in together!
    I was in a long-distance relationship for a year with my partner before we moved in together (we’ve been together 6 years now) & I completely agree with everything you said. I do believe the time apart made us stronger, but there were a lot of ups & downs. I 100% agree communication & trust is so important!

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  20. I’m so glad your finally got to end the long distance. It breaks my heart that so many people were separated during lockdown. You’ve included so many helpful tips and I definitely agree communication is so important.

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  21. Long distance relationships are hard. I don’t think you can overemphasize the communication aspect, which is well, true for all relationships, but absolutely paramount when in a long distance one. Glad that you’re finally with your boyfriend in person. 🙂

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  22. Wonderful to hear your long distance has come to an end and you’re together now in one space! Long distance relationship certainly take a lot of work, but as you said it’s worth it and makes the relationship stronger. My fiance and I went through two bouts of long distance when both relocating for jobs and waiting out the other getting a new job – as you outlined it really comes down to communication and trust, with those two it’s manageable! Thanks for sharing all these great tips!

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    1. Yes, it’s definitely great to be together! I’m glad it worked out for you two, I think it’s worth it as long as you know how to deal with it, as you say 🙂 thank you for sharing, and for your kind words x

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  26. Such a great post. I was in a long distance relationship for a while. Keeping in consistent communication was vital. But what you say about trust is so true. Without it we would have fallen apart long ago.

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  27. I’ve done long distance twice, I found the best way to survive is always have plans to see each other confirmed so you know you have something to look forward to!

    Corinne x

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  29. I was only in a long distance relationship for just a few months when my boyfriend, now husband, was finishing up his last semester in college. It was a struggle but I am so thankful that it was only for a few months since it is so hard! Congrats on moving in together too!

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  32. Some great tips here. Long-distance is hard, especially during COVID. Congrats on moving in together, that’s so exciting!

    Tash – A Girl with a View

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  33. It is awful that we all had to loose touch with people we love during the last year and a half. I think that the way you and your boyfriend handled the long distance was the helthier possible and it is a good idea you decided to write this post to share your experience. Thank you and wish you all the best!

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  35. Such a good point about not feeling the need to check on a partner if you’re secure in the relationship. I’ve been in a long-distance relationship before, too, and your tips are so helpful!

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  36. I was in one when I was younger and I found it so difficult. She wasn’t too far away but still far enough that I never got to meet her offically in person. Sadly the relationship broke down after 6 months and it was one of the hardest breakups I’ve ever had.

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  37. Long distance relationship is challenging and hard. It takes a lot of trust and particularly respect on both sides.
    I had a long distance relationship before that didn’t work that’s why, I’m pretty much familiar with it lol!
    This is a long time ago by the way.

    Anyway, congrats that you and you’re boyfriend moving together!

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  38. I’m so happy you are both together again after so long apart! What a lovely story! I’ve never done long distance but can only imagine how difficult it must be! Communication goes a long way in all types of relationships! X

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  42. Thanks for sharing your story and congratulations about moving in together! Great news!
    I’ve had a LDR and can relate to this so much, it really can work. Great advice

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  45. Communication is key in any relationship, but even more so when time a part plays a big role. It’s good to sort out your wants and needs and establish boundaries so there’s less change of issues popping up

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  46. So happy for the two of you moving in together, it must have been so difficult for you both during the pandemic! These are some great tips, I will make sure to send them to any of my friends in long distance relationships 😊💖

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  48. It is nice to read about how you made the most of a long-distance relationship. My partner and I went from living within a 5-minute walk of each other to over an hour away on the train in our third year together. While not a proper long-distance relationship, it was exciting to see each other at the train station after time apart.

    Your tips for surviving a long-distance relationship are great as they are realistic but go a long way. All of these tips are great for relationships in general as well.

    It was lovely reading your perspective on this topic, and congratulations on moving in with your boyfriend! I hope it all went smoothly, have fun. 😊

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  50. These are great tips – especially the emphasis on communicating. That’s so important in a relationship! I wish you and your boyfriend lots of fun and happiness together now that you’re living together! ❤️

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