Review: ‘Conversations with Friends’ by Sally Rooney

My friend bought me this book for my birthday, and in the past few weeks I finally got round to reading it!

‘Conversations with Friends’ by Sally Rooney is about two university students- Bobbi and Frances- who write and perform poetry, mixing with literary, artsy types and very much fitting into the type cast of “artsy” students.

As well as conversing with fellow literature students, the two girls also spend time with people from the art and publishing world.

Early on in the book, Bobbi and Frances meet Nick and Melissa, a dysfunctional thirty-something married couple. With her foot in the publishing world, Melissa is a valuable contact for Bobbi and Frances, and she decides to publish a profile on the girls. She invites them into her circle and even invites them on holiday to France later in the book. Melissa and Nick represent an artsy, rich class of people. In short, they are all incredibly pretentious.

The girls gradually start to visit Melissa and Nick more and more, with Melissa and Bobbi really connecting. And soon, it becomes clear that Frances and Nick have some sort of connection, despite the wide age gap, and they start up a secret emailing relationship.

As an actor, Nick is (predictably) “unpredictable”, and it soon becomes clear that Melissa and Nick are unhappy in their relationship- and it’s not long before Frances and Nick move from an intellectual online relationship to an illicit affair.

The book centres on Nick and Frances’ affair, and her feelings about it, as the book is narrated from her point of view. She has previously only slept with women (Bobbi is her ex-girlfriend), and she has conflicted feelings about sex with Nick and where she stands with him. It soon becomes clear to Frances that she’s falling for Nick, and so the book explores how she feels about him, and her intense intellectual and emotional jealousy for Melissa.

I’ll be honest, a lot of things about this book annoyed me. In particular, I didn’t think the characters were very captivating.

For me, Bobbi was a very stereotypical, flat character. A loud, purposefully “controversial” figure, I found her boring as a character, and obnoxious as a person. Everything she said was supposedly “controversial” or “profound” and I disagreed with most of her thoughts on love, sex and relationships.

“Who even gets married? said Bobbi. It’s sinister. Who wants state apparatuses sustaining their relationship?

I don’t know. What is ours sustained by?

That’s it! That’s exactly what I mean. Nothing. Do I call myself your girlfriend? No. Calling myself your girlfriend would be imposing some prefabricated cultural dynamic on us that’s outside our control. You know?”

While I disagreed with many of her actions, I much preferred Frances’ character, and I was glad the book was from her point of view.

I was also not particularly captivated by Nick and Frances’ relationship. Apart from the fact that Nick was married and so the relationship was wrong on a moral level, I found Nick annoying as a character, and it seemed to me that he acted like a troubled victim- weak and helpless- and yet he was the one in a marriage and sleeping with a uni student.

However, although I thought this book was pretentious, and I didn’t like any of the characters except from Frances (at times), there were some aspects of this book I enjoyed. I actually really liked Rooney’s writing style, and it was an easy, quick read, great for a holiday (especially in France as some of it takes place there!). I also liked Frances’ narration as at times it came across as very honest and real.

I also really enjoyed Rooney’s descriptive elements- her prose had a certain sensuality to it, and the love scenes between Nick and Frances powerfully described Frances’ inner thoughts about her relationship.

Overall I wasn’t a fan of this book, and I don’t really understand the hype surrounding it. For me, likeable or interesting characters are important, and I didn’t find that in this book. However, I’m glad I read it as there were some elements that I enjoyed, and it’s always interesting to see what everyone’s talking about!

Have you read * ‘Conversations with Friends’ ? Would you consider giving this book a try? Would you recommend any of Rooney’s other books?

Let me know all your thoughts in the comments below 🙂

Happy reading (and stay safe) x

Picture credits here

23 thoughts

  1. I too have been disappointed in a lot of books lately. I get a free one each month and have bought a couple from authors I admire and more than once I have struggled to finish because the characters were boring or flat and the story stretched to the point of breaking with little to nothing happening. If you don’t care about the character, why should you care about what they are thinking?

    That being said, I am finishing up my third novel and hope to have it out this year. In the meantime, if you want to read a mystery/thriller novel with great characters and a lot of action, try “Identity Check” by Rich Allan at

    Stay safe & healthy!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This sounds like it explores so many different concepts. I’ve not read this book yet so I was interesting to see a different take on it, especially as most people seem to race about it endlessly. I like that you uncover every aspect of it ☺️ Bx

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’ve not heard of the author before, but I’m also not very up to date with books altogether! Sorry you didn’t enjoy it, there’s nothing worse than being able to predict what happens in a book! In one way I think it’s good that you don’t like the characters, as that probably means they’ve been portrayed well! Take care, Steff x

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Great review! I absolutely loved Normal People (both the book and the TV adaptation), but now I feel like I need to try this book too.

    So glad I found your blog by the way, you write about so many things I love! Can’t wait to read more posts ☺️ xx

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I had the same experience. This came recommended to me by someone who knows my reading tastes, and I’d heard about Rooney in several places. But I was disappointed by this book. It was good enough to finish, but I didn’t feel especially captivated by any of the characters or the plot.

    Liked by 1 person

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